I’ve always had a healthy respect for words, and maybe that’s why I tend to sprinkle my oral conversations with “uhs,” thinking carefully when selecting the ones that I use. I see words as powerful, having potential for both good, bad, and longtime consequences.
Seldom do I talk politics while on Facebook or other media, but a few times that I did have turned out badly. I’ve lost, or nearly lost, friends with a few words that hit nerve hot spots. And though at times voicing unpopular opinions is both necessary and unavoidable, idle chatter that provokes defensive, even nasty responses, is, for me, a bridge too far–a time-wasting energy sapper, one that can sabotage important goals I’ve set in a moment of reflection.
(Image from Steve Flairty)
Kind and instructive words, however, are like honey. A three-decades-ago student of mine recently recounted some uplifting words I spoke to her while she sat in my fourth-grade classroom. Of those, I only faintly recall saying something encouraging to the shy but smart young girl about a project I’d assigned. Today, the woman formerly known as a student of mine has become extraordinarily successful in her career. Though I’m a bit puzzled, she gave me some of the credit. The things I said to her boosted her confidence, she said, and I’m glad. I know of similar stories from many teacher colleagues, and they were also somewhat surprised.
Stirring words I’ve received have fostered my well-being over the long-haul. Some came from family members, others from what I’ve read or heard from other sources. These treasures took hold and balanced me; they have built a foundation under me.
Please allow me to share a few of the most meaningful.
When in doubt, don’t. Dad mentioned this a lot. Not sure where he got it, but I suspect it was from his experience as a U.S. Marine. Though I’ve broken this dictum more than once, it has helped (maybe even saved) me in making important life decisions.
Jesus wept. This might seem a bit odd to mention, but the Bible’s shortest verse, John 11:35, reveals to me that the model of empathy for others is best showed by my personal object of worship, Christ. There may be more than one reason why Jesus began crying, but mostly, I believe he was touched by the sadness that Mary and Martha experienced at the death of their brother, Lazurus. He lovingly put himself “in their sandals.” Noting this encourages me to reach out and try to feel others’ pain, then respond with understanding and compassionate acts. And doing so applies even to people I find offensive.
Don’t wait for your ship to come in; swim out and meet it. I came across this early in my teaching career. I decided to claim it to achieve some things I wanted to do, like coaching basketball despite having not played on a team. I tried things in teaching that proved successful while nervously needing to come out of my comfort zone. Outside the realm of education, the words helped me to try other things I had a hankering to do, such as published writing! I haven’t always been successful as I navigated the waters, but I found that the effort itself often brings personal growth.
He/she has a good turn. This perhaps needs some translation, particularly for my younger readers. Mom used to say that when describing someone she knew who possessed an engaging, positive attitude. I guess it is an old-fashioned way of praising a person who has a “good heart,” and having such a nature can certainly improve relationships. I’d welcome that compliment any time, and I love attributing the same to as many people as possible. Perhaps looking for that quality—the process itself—is the real benefit, and a gracious spirit is the by-product.
Keep at it, Steve. Let’s get ‘er done. Another “Momism,” something she said frequently while family work projects were in process at our small Claryville farm in the 1960s and early ‘70s. Whether it was getting to the end of a long row while picking pickles (on the knees drudgery!), completing the connecting of aluminum irrigation pipes on a summer day in the tobacco field, finishing the “stripping” of a pile of tobacco stalks on a cold December evening, or getting all the weeds pulled from a bed of flowers, she instilled in me the value of persistence and the understanding that achieving goals was often not fun, but necessary.
That learned value has certainly translated well to my strivings today, mostly outside the realm of farming.
A hundred years from now, nobody will care about… In the heat of the moment, when aggravations arise and have me contemplating an emotional outburst, thinking of this bit of truism often brings pause—and protects relationships. Just how important is making a big issue about a longer than needed line at the grocery, a loss by our favorite basketball team, a moment of insensitivity by our spouse, or an “ambush” statement about a politician we like? Not especially important, indeed . . . and hopefully our strong reactions are saved, and acted upon, for societal injustices—things that truly hurt others and consequently, need rectified.
Rae Craig (Photo from Facebook)
For a debut novel, Greater Cincinnati resident Rae Craig’s authentic voice runs true in her fantasy book, Orphans of Stone.
In this young adult first-in-a-series-of-four offering, Rae puts her background in archaeology (plus remembrances from her youth) to good use, sharing the struggles of 12-year-old Harriet, who lost her twin brother to an accident for which she feels deeply responsible.
Deep familial introspection and community relationships are potential avenues to emotional peace when she moves with her parents back to “home” at an intriguing place called Shi-octon Valley, where Rae masterfully adds colorful description and carefully allows her characters to authentically emerge.
The author worked assisting in surgery at St. Elizabeth Hospital, in Edgewood, for 25 years until retiring four years ago. Rae followed a circuitous path to authorship of Orphans over about a five-year period.
“When I first started toying with the story,” she explained, “I worked on it during vacation for a week each year. I’m not a fast writer. I do a lot of editing and drafts.” After retiring, she wrote during mornings and progressed to the release of the book in late February of this year.
“I like to use my interests,” said Rae, “and I write a story that like to read.” Of strong interest, as reflected in the book, is archaeology, and she graduated with a degree in anthropology from the University of Cincinnati. Though she lives in Cincinnati and grew up in Wisconsin, she said that she feels “like a native Kentuckian” because of all her years working at St. Elizabeth.
And though selling lots of books, she admits, would certainly be a joy, she offers a simple reason for writing.
“My goal is to share my story, and I’ll keep writing whether I sell books or not,” she said. Along with that, she hopes any who read the novel will see that “anything is possible, anything is there . . .go for it.”
Sure looks like Rae Craig did.
