By Marc Hardin
NKyTribune contributor
There is a scene in the film classic Grease that takes place in a carnival funhouse where cast members enter through the exit and move backward through the funhouse toward the entrance while singing the hit song “You’re The One That I Want.”
That got me thinking. What’s the actual definition of funhouse?
Here’s one: “An amusement attraction in which visitors encounter and actively interact with various devices designed to surprise, challenge and amuse. Unlike thrill rides, funhouses are participatory attractions where visitors enter and move around under their own power. Incorporating aspects of a playful obstacle course, funhouses seek to distort conventional perceptions and startle people with unstable and unpredictable physical circumstances within an atmosphere of wacky whimsicality.”
Using the same language, they could also be talking about the bye weeks, right? As little Carol Anne said in the face of the flickering light of the television set in the movie Poltergeist: “They’re here…”
BY THE BY…
For the next nine weeks, fantasy team owners need to navigate the dreaded bye weeks clustered Weeks 4-12 on the NFL schedule. During these weeks, every NFL team will take a week off. As a result, nearly 100 roster-worthy fantasy players on 14 NFL teams will be affected by this shape-shifting landscape just in the next five weeks.
While you should not expect an evil ghost-mist to come pouring out of your TV as you watch most of the rest of the fantasy football regular season unfold over the ensuing Thursdays, Sundays and Mondays, you may at times feel like some terrible spirit has zapped your fantasy squad. At worst, you may feel like you’re being sucked through a portal into another dimension, taking a passel of friends and family to pull you back before Tuesday’s work shift.
But this is not a movie. This is real. Look at this list. It covers the next four bye weeks worth of NFL talent that will be unusable by fantasy owners at one time or another. All of these players (and defenses) were owned in at least 30 percent of most leagues around the country or were among the top scorers at their position through Week 3.
Week 4
Panthers: QB Cam Newton, RB Christian McCaffrey, WR Devin Funchess, K Graham Gano, Defense
Redskins: QB Alex Smith, RB Adrian Peterson, RB Chris Thompson, WR Jamison Crowder, WR Josh Doctson, WR Paul Richardson, TE Jordan Reed
Week 5
Bears: RB Jordan Howard, RB Tarik Cohen, WR Allen Robinson, TE Trey Burton, Defense
Buccaneers: QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, RB Peyton Barber, WR Mike Evans, WR DeSean Jackson, WR Chris Godwin, TE OJ Howard
Week 6
Lions: QB Matthew Stafford, RB Kerryon Johnson, RB Theo Riddick, WR Golden tate, WR Marvin Jones, WR Kenny Golladay, K Matt Prater
Saints: QB Drew Brees, RB Alvin Kamara, WR Michael Thomas, WR Ted Ginn, TE Benjamin Watson, K Will Lutz, Defense
Week 7
Packers: QB Aaron Rodgers, RB Jamaal Williams, RB Aaron Jones, RB Ty Montgomery, WR Davante Adams, WR Randall Cobb, WR Geronimo Allison, TE Jimmy Graham, K Mason Crosby
Raiders: QB Derek Carr, RB Marshawn Lynch, WR Amari Cooper, WR Jordy Nelson, TE Jared Cook
Seahawks: QB Russell Wilson, RB Chris Carson, RB Rashaad Penny, WR Tyler Lockett, TE Will Dissly
Steelers: QB Ben Roethlisberger, RB James Conner, WR Antonio Brown, WR JuJu Smith-Schuster, TE Jesse James, K Chris Boswell
DON’T GREASE THE SKIDS
See any of your players up there? You sure do, hopefully not in the same week. If you planned correctly at your draft, you should not have two or more of your expected top point producers on a bye during the same week. When drafting, you should always try to spread out your bye weeks among rostered players, rather than clumping them together and greasing the skids for a loss or two.
Having three top producers on a bye during the same week is really tough because it forces you to plumb the depths of your weakened roster for producers you otherwise would not be activating for game week. These unfortunate results stemming from a poorly planned draft process could lead to a worst-case scenario, losing at a bad time during your divisional chase and dropping players you otherwise would not have to while trying to add free agents.
But, it gets worse. More than half the teams in the NFL take their bye week during the four weeks spanning Weeks 9-12, leaving fantasy league owners precious few remaining regular season weeks unaffected by a bye. Here are the rest of the bye weeks and the teams taken out of action. Things can get dicey Weeks 9 and 11 when six teams each are on a bye:
Week 8: Chargers, Cowboys, Falcons, Titans
Week 9: Bengals, Cardinals, Colts, Eagles, Giants, Jaguars
Week 10: Broncos, Ravens, Texans, Vikings
Week 11: Bills, Browns, Dolphins, 49ers, Jets, Patriots
Week 12: Chiefs, Rams
YOU’RE THE ONE THAT I WANT
It’s the bye weeks. You’ve got chills. They’re multiplying. And you’re losing control because the power your team is supplying isn’t very electrifying. You better shape up because you need a man. But, your heart should have been set on these strategies at your draft (if you didn’t do this, there’s always now and of course next year):
1. Try not to draft two quarterbacks with the same bye week. If you find yourself in this situation, you may be able to fix it now by trading in your second QB for another more productive one with a different bye week than your starter. This gives you the advantage of looking for a decent free-agent QB who has a favorable defensive matchup the week that your starting QB is on a bye.
2. With the exception of justifiable handcuffs, try to avoid drafting running backs sharing the same bye week, giving you greater flexibility throughout the season with that crucial position group. Same goes for receivers. During the season, prepare for potential bye week problems by looking ahead instead of dealing with them just before the weeks in question. If you wait too long, the ideal free-agent replacement may be snapped up before you get there. Again, look for favorable defensive matchups and be careful who you drop in the corresponding move.
3. Spread out your bye weeks. For example, your quarterback, top running back and top wide receiver shouldn’t be sharing a bye week. It brings out that evil ghost-mist I was talking about earlier. Easier said than done, I know, but try to cushion the blows. You should also try to avoid having tight ends, kickers and defenses sharing bye weeks, giving yourself a fair chance during the byes to address one position one week at a time. If you have a kicker or a defense you’re souring on that’s also on an upcoming bye, postpone your problem a few weeks by trading in for a kicker or a defense that has a bye much later in the season.
4. In addition to taking them late, in the future try to avoid drafting quarterbacks, tight ends, kickers and defenses that have a bye week before Week 9. Barring catastrophic injuries, this helps keep you out of bye-week jams at those positions for two months while other less visionary owners suffer and may even be forced to drop good players simply for the purpose of filling the sometimes dime-a-dozen tight end, defense and kicker slots. Excellent planning leading up to this scenario could allow you to take advantage by snagging off waivers a player who otherwise would still be on a rival’s roster. Sneaky, sneaky.
5. I know I’m sounding like a broken record here, but ensure flexibility by building depth. I can’t repeat this enough. You can never have too many running backs and receivers. Stock up on them now and gut your roster of waste.
