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The River: Can’t help but peruse the ‘Boats for Sale’ ads, but probably will rest easily with memories


The riverboat captain is a storyteller, and Captain Don Sanders will be sharing the stories of his long association with the river — from discovery to a way of love and life. This a part of a long and continuing story.

By Capt. Don Sanders
Special to NKyTribune

I can’t believe it, but since the CLYDE sold and left for distant waters, I’ve been scanning the “Boats for Sale” ads. It must be an automatic separation response because, as soon as an appealing vessel comes up on my computer screen, I find myself shouting aloud, “NO MORE BOATS!”

My penchant for odd, strange-looking boats has me googling “shantyboats,” which usually directs me to AMAZON and a listing of books by my friend, the late Harlan Hubbard. Harlan and his beloved Anna spent the first several years of their marriage aboard their home-built floating shanty as the perfect escapees living, as he said, “on the fringe of society.” I would gladly follow in their footsteps, but I would have to do it alone as my wife warned me when I suggested embracing the shantyboat life, “Don’t think I’m some Anna Hubbard-type.”

Harlan Hubbard and his beloved Anna spent the first several years of their marriage aboard their home-built floating shanty as the perfect escapees living, as he said, “on the fringe of society.”

Fortunately for our relationship, the passing of time made such an extreme adventure impractical, as the passage of time is the very same reason I let go of my sternwheeler in the first place.

The universal COVID-19 Pandemic has affected the river world in a variety of ways. The overnight inland cruiseliners have either canceled or delayed their 2020 sailings. Contrary to what I reported last week, the venerable steamboat, the BELLE of LOUISVILLE, is offering boat rides on a reduced, limited schedule. Please go to this website and make your conclusions. I already said enough, though I did make a generous donation to their “Keep the BELLE Afloat” campaign. Everyone loving this old steamboat, as I have for nearly 70 years, is encouraged to do the same. 

Despite the current, maddening conditions in the world, the river doesn’t look much different from my front porch high above Aurora Bend on the Middle Ohio River that it did before. The Bend lies almost precisely midway between Pittsburgh and Cairo Point, where the Ohio dumps into the Mississippi. A long-established tradition of the overnight steamers was the gathering of passengers and crew along the railings to toss coins into the merger of the rivers whenever a riverboat crossed the blue-green waters of the tributary stream and into the muddy murk of the Father of Waters. 

Colonel Vic Tooker, the talented Interlocutor aboard the DELTA QUEEN.

Colonel Vic Tooker, the talented Interlocutor aboard the DELTA QUEEN, was an especially active supporter of this tradition. Reports that the Colonel and individual members of the crew had fine-meshed fishing nets strung slightly beneath the water along both sides of the QUEEN proved to be false following an extensive investigation by the revenue services of the three states whose borders meet at that strategic location. Look on any map and see for yourself. 

Truthfully, I would be less than honest if I failed to reveal that I also watch scads of airplane flight videos on Youtube. Besides possessing an Unlimited Master’s License on the Inland Waters of the Continental United States, I also hold an FAA Commercial Airplane Pilot License for single-engine aircraft. It has been decades (actually, more like half-a-century) since I last flew as a command pilot and was offered a flying job after I separated from military service. The difficult choice I had, then, was whether I would accept the flying gig, or return to the DELTA QUEEN I’d left four years earlier to enlist in the Air Force. Obviously, I chose the latter, though I still harbor memories, both satisfying and often terrifying, concerning my aviation days. For example:

There was the day I was flying at several thousand feet above the grizzled South Korean “mountain tops” in a U. S. Army Aero Club Cessna 150 south of Seoul. The Han River was the extreme-most boundary for private aviation in the wary nation, and any small aircraft crossing the river was in danger of destruction by “friendly fire.” The Republic of Korea, or “ROK,” always remained on the alert for intrusions from its aggressive sister nation only 15 miles to the north.
 

Me and Piper 140 at Lunken Field, 1968 – It has been decades (actually, more like half-a-century) since I last flew as a command pilot and was offered a flying job.

The ROK Air Force, in those days, flew hand-me-down F-86 Sabres leftover from the Korean War which ended only 16 years before I intruded into the skies above the Hermit Kingdom. On that particular day, I was flying “straight and level” when I noticed two tiny dots on the horizon at my altitude that appeared to grow more prominent the more that I stared their way. 

Within seconds, the dots metamorphosed into screaming Sabre jets with ROK markings that roared as close to both sides of my wingtips as they could without terminating the three of us and scattering our wreckage on the mountainside below. From then on, I flew through the valleys between the hills that looked as rugged as mountains and surrendered the airspace above to the F-86 Sabres.

Ed performed every procedure as precisely as had he been in the cockpit of an airplane.

Often, at that altitude, I looked beyond my wings to see a farmer busily tending his garden at my same height above the valley floor in that hilly terrain. The closest though, I came to an inflight collision was the time a fat goose flew under my wing, on my side of the plane, between the fuselage and the wing support. I’ll refrain from any “my goose was nearly cooked” jokes, and move on.

Once back on the DELTA QUEEN at the beginning of the 1970 season, aviation still bore heavily on my mind. I often wore a black, tailormade, flight jacket as an accessory to my steamboat wardrobe. The QUEEN carried a Volkswagen Beetle on the bow similar inside, sizewise, to the cockpit of a Cessna 150. The Bug’s parking brake handle substituted for the 150’s flap handle when I gave deckhand Ed Duemler simulated flying lessons on the head of the steamboat. We went through an entire flight from prechecks, engine startup, takeoff, turns, stalls, and back into the pattern with touch-and-go landings. Once satisfied with Ed’s progress, we landed to a full stop, taxied to the hanger, and shut down the engine. Ed performed every procedure as precisely as had he been in the cockpit of an airplane. Instead, he and I were in a VW Beetle on the bow of the DELTA QUEEN, somewhere on a broad river. 

Fortunately for all concerned, I have about as much a chance of returning to the skies as I do of obtaining another sternwheel boat. But I’ve been overhearing the chatter of my sons talking excitedly about a new flight simulator by Microsoft reportedly containing everything but the G-forces shoving the players into their seats. Maybe that’s what I will be exploring next, primarily, as Flight Simulator 2020 features the ICON A5 flying boat, my favorite small aircraft that I’ve dreamt of owning were it not for the $300,000-plus price tag.

Finally, it seems, I can have the best of two worlds. 

The ROK Air Force, in those days, flew hand-me-down F-86 Sabres leftover from the Korean War.

I often wore a black, tailormade, flight jacket as an accessory to my steamboat wardrobe.

The ICON A5 flying boat, my favorite small aircraft that I’ve dreamt of owning were it not for the $300,000-plus price tag.

Captain Don Sanders is a river man. He has been a riverboat captain with the Delta Queen Steamboat Company and with Rising Star Casino. He learned to fly an airplane before he learned to drive a “machine” and became a captain in the USAF. He is an adventurer, a historian, and a storyteller. Now, he is a columnist for the NKyTribune and will share his stories of growing up in Covington and his stories of the river. Hang on for the ride — the river never looked so good.


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4 Comments

  1. Joy Scudder says:

    What a full and fascinating life you have led. Great recollections.

  2. Great Musings! How many of us have been left at loose ends by Covid-19? At least we are Not trying to fly Real Airplanes.

  3. Mike Washenko says:

    Another great read Capt. Please keep it up.

  4. Connie Bays says:

    I so enjoy reading the stories of your adventures in life. You have packed so many different lifetimes into your years. You’ve led an amazing life! Thank you once again for sharing your recollections with all of us. It’s the highlight of my Sundays, looking to see what the next story will be! Thank you!

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