By Marc Hardin
NKyTribune contributor
Popular culture has offered up a string of unseen characters, people who are referred to but not actually seen by the audience. Classic examples in theater are King Laius in Oedipus Rex by Sophocles and Lord Capulet’s niece Rosaline in William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.
Of more recent vintage are Phyllis’ husband Lars Lindstrom on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Norm’s wife Vera on Cheers, Seinfeld’s Cousin Jeffrey, and Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell. That’s right. Bell, in a long contract dispute, is right up there with Godot on my personal list of most fascinating unseen characters who advance the plot without being there. In fact, their absence from the action enhances their effect on the plot.
MISSING PERSONS
Like Bell, it’s been out of sight but not necessarily out of mind for these imperceptible fantasy football players who by now may be scaring the dickens out of you as they head to destinations unknown:
QB Marcus Mariota (Titans): 1 game with 10 points.
QB Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins): 1 game with 20 points.
RB Dalvin Cook (Vikings): Red flags everywhere.
RB: Derrick Henry (Titans): Unmitigated disaster so far.
WR Allen Hurns (Cowboys): Talent is there but nothing doing.
WR John Ross (Bengals): Can’t seem to get on the field.
TE Tyler Eifert (Bengals): Another lost season, a truly sad story.
TE Evan Engram (Giants): 10 catches, that’s it.
K Phil Dawson (Cardinals): 2 field goals all season.
While remaining inert, those guys blur the unseen/unheard line like Penn and Teller’s Teller who is seen but very rarely heard, the rock band Kiss who were heard but not really seen until unmasking themselves, early Darth Vader who was heard in Star Wars but did not show his face, Charlie’s Angels boss Charlie Townsend who was heard but not seen, and the heard-but-not-seen guy who relayed by cassette tape the impossible mission on Mission: Impossible.
For today’s purposes, though, I’m more interested in unseen and unheard characters like the Diaz brothers in Scarface. I always wanted to know what Barney Fife’s heartthrob Juanita Beasley looked like on The Andy Griffith Show. We heard about Lieutenant Columbo’s wife but we never actually saw Mrs. Columbo. They’re all fictional characters. In real life, I tip my cap to baseball’s very real Curt Flood, formerly of the Reds, and rugged running back John Riggins especially as a holdout with the Redskins — two famous athletes who did some of their best work when you did not see them.
Take Samuel Beckett’s not-so-prompt central character in the play Waiting for Godot. He never shows up to meet Vladimir and Estragon, a couple bums who’ve been waiting so long by the side of a country road that they’re not sure what day it is. They chat and meet a few
passersby while waiting. So original and absurd is the premise — a play about nothing happening — that it helped give birth to something called Theater of the Absurd.
So minimal and general is the dialogue that people today are still debating the true meaning of Waiting for Godot. The play will be in production forever. We can’t say the same about running backs, who come and go as specks in cosmic football time.
O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?
Henny Youngman would love this but take Le’Veon Bell, too. Please! He’s not helping my fantasy team anyway. Like Vladimir and Estragon, many of you have been waiting and waiting for The Holdout Formerly Known As The Best Running Back In Football, so much so that the leaves are changing colors, just like in Waiting for Godot!
Bell is not alone. Look at this virtually invisible quasi all-star squad:
QB Tyrod Taylor (Browns): That
de-escalated quickly, didn’t it?
RB Leonard Fournette (Jaguars): 71
yards rushing and holding steady.
RB Devonta Freeman (Falcons): A putrid
68 yards rushing.
WR DeVante Parker (Dolphins): Flat out
disappeared.
WR Martavis Bryant (Raiders) Light bulb
not going on.
TE Jack Doyle (Colts): It takes a lot
to make Eric Ebron a star.
K Chris Boswell (Steelers): The big
hurt that keeps on hurting.
DEF/ST Patriots: Poof! Another
disappearing act.
The Steelers said a few days ago that they are not expecting their erstwhile bell-cow back to return this week, which continues the bad news on the Le’Veon front. The only good news for Bell owners is reserved for those savvy enough to have also locked up James Conner as a handcuff. I, the eternal handcuff advocate, was unable to do this in my only instance of drafting Bell because Conner was taken too soon for me to act. Pity party for one, please. Bell does not toil for me, and neither does his backup.
Ah, but ye of little faith in Bell, Conner is off this week. The Steelers have a bye. Hamstrung Bell owners are now dealing with a one-week absence by Conner. Or will that be a two-week absence by Conner? Do I hear a multiple-week absence by Conner (just like DeAngelo
Williams before him) in the event Bell reports and Pittsburgh gives him the ball and says, “do your thing and we’ll go back to Conner if you wind up getting hurt, like a lot of holdouts do.” It’s happened before, just ask Bell and Williams.
BACKFIELD IN MOTION
Other emerging understudies like Conner
that you should take note of:
QB C.J. Beathard (49ers): Looks great
for wily coach Shanahan.
RB Frank Gore (Dolphins): Ancient but
always seems to produce.
RB Marlon Mack (Colts): Getting more
popular by the day so hurry.
RB Latavius Murray (Vikings): It’s
happening…
WR Josh Doctson (Redskins): Led all
‘Skins WRs in targets/snaps Week 6.
WR Cameron Meredith (Saints): 5
catches, 71 yards Week 5.
WR Anthony Miller (Chicago): Back from
injury, 2 TDs in his last 3 games.
TE C.J. Uzomah (Bengals): There’s
nobody left at the position in Cincy.
K Brett Maher (Cowboys): Scoring points
in bunches. Pounce!
Back to Bell and the Steelers, Pittsburgh said it has not heard directly from Bell, who had
not signed his $14.5 million franchise tag — a big sticking point in the months-long impasse. He reportedly planned to report to Pittsburgh in time for preparation for the Week 8 contest against the Browns but remained unseen around Steelers headquarters at the beginning of this week.
As you know, Conner has been a very productive stand-in, ranking among fantasy leaders in
rushing yards, touchdowns and points. He totaled 129 yards and scored two touchdowns Sunday against the Bengals. Draft to draft, I personally shied away from the Steelers’ running back situation because I didn’t want to waste a pick on Bell. I surely didn’t want to waste two picks by handcuffing a holdout to an unproven commodity such as Conner.
As we have seen, Conner was golden from the get-go, turning his fantasy owners into geniuses. But he could just as quickly turn to fool’s gold, providing some unneeded uncertainty for Bell and Conner owners who are barreling down on the back half of the fantasy regular season schedule.
DOCTOR MY EYES
Here are some largely unseen characters like Bell who could be a tonic for the troops during the last of the bye weeks and beyond, or they could be fool’s gold like Conner might be. If you’re interested, a handful are available in some 10-team leagues:
QB Jameis Winston (Bucs): I’ve recommended him two weeks in a row now.
RB Jordan Howard (Bears): It’s getting hard I know but he should gear up soon.
RB Aaron Jones (Packers): Could rack up some points in a crowded backfield.
RB Mark Ingram (Saints): He’s back and already producing at a high rate.
WR Julian Edelman (Patriots): Slowly getting involved at the right times.
WR Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals): Can’t see his numbers staying down.
WR Pierre Garcon (49ers): Leads team in routes but to no avail thus far.
TE Vernon Davis (Redskins): Stats getting similar to starter Jordan Reed’s.
K Greg Zuerlein (Rams): Back from injury. Cairo Santos was released. Get him.
If you fear that Conner is about to lose a bunch of touches to Bell, and you don’t have Bell, consider these emergency waiver pickups for speculative purposes as you roll the dice while trying to add some depth at running back. Some may turn out to be duds. Others might not be too late for the sky, if that’s, in fact, the limit:
RB Ito Smith (Falcons): 3 TDs in 3 games, 1 injury away from lead back role.
RB Raheem Mostert (49ers): 87 rushing yards Monday could earn another look.
RB Alfred Blue (Texans): Averaging 13 carries over his last 3 games.
RB Devontae Booker (Broncos): Second among Denver backs in snaps Sunday.
RB LeGarrette Blount (Lions): Is he getting on one of his TD rolls? Had 2 last week.
