Runners from the Tri State Running Co. rest at a water stop during a long run on Saturday. A majority of recreational runners are female. (Photo by Karen Emark Minzner)
The last time I went out for a solo run, I laced up my shoes, nodded to the receptionist at our office, and told her, “back in a bit.”
Although I had a general idea where I was going, I didn’t have a definitive route in mind, giving myself the option of changing it up if I wanted. I didn’t bring a phone. It was late afternoon, but I wasn’t worried because I figured I’d be back before dark. If not, so be it.
Such behavior is fairly typical for old white guy runners like me. Not so much for my female running friends, who have to plan ahead any time they head outdoors.
“When I run alone I always have a buddy at home,” said Suzanne Livezey Peters, a runner from Union.
“If (my husband) Andy isn’t available, it’s another family member. They get the details of my route and know my expected pace/finish time. I text when I start my run, and I text when I end. The understanding is that I get five extra minutes for those bad run days and then they call. If no response, they alert the authorities.”
Yep, it’s sad but true. Women know the drill: Make sure that someone knows where they are, where they intend to be, and approximately how long they’ll be gone. And always, always, carry a phone.
“Women are already indoctrinated to take positive steps before heading out to make sure that they are safe,” said Em Freeman, who runs with Northern Kentucky based Pain by Numbers running group. “As far as safety during running, it’s really no different for anyone who is trying to be safety conscious. The real big difference is that women will have to put up with more catcalls and belittling from those who observe them running than worry about the danger from other runners.”
It’s time we men stand up to help. And I don’t mean help in the way you think. It’s not our job to tell women how to be safe, to give them tips and suggestions on how to protect themselves. Rather, it is our job to provide the environment in which women can feel safe — because it is us they fear. It’s our job not to be the guy who causes women to fear being outside and shy away from men.
When I asked my running friends for safety tips for a recent column, and in particular how to ensure that women feel safe, the responses I got from women were about how to protect themselves. The men — all good, thinking, and caring people, inevitable responded with suggestions on what women should do to stay safe.
Instead, let us talk about ways that men can provide a safe environment for women.
“Stop hollering at us when we run,” said runner Jen Kryzanowski. “Don’t get in our faces.”
Here’s what women ask men to do: When passing a female runner, look her in the eye and give a quick nod or hello. If coming up behind a runner, say “passing on the right,” or “coming up on your left.” That’s what you would say to a male runner. Treat a women runner the same.
“If I see a runner dude coming at me, I wave,” said Jenny Wilkerson Baker, who lives in Cincinnati and runs with Pain by Numbers. “It’s helpful to hear ‘coming up on your left, don’t wanna startle you’ from any runner. Or eye contact and a wave. … So I think I’’m saying a friendly smile and wave will suffice.”
Here a suggestion from male blogger Chris Willis, who wrote recently on this very topic on the excellent female-oriented Bad Angel Rules for Running http://rulesforrunning.com/ blog: “I try to remember to monitor people’s body language as I approach. There are times when I sense someone tensing up as I am running up from behind, so I’ll turn around and go in the other direction to give them that space. Or, I’ll stop and retie my still-tied shoe, just to give some space. Nobody needs the anxiety of me running up behind them. I think it’s important to acknowledge that the anxiety and fear people feel in these situations is real and needs to be respected, and that men need to take ownership of their role in creating that fear. More importantly, we need to take an active role in diffusing it. And teaching others to do so. And shaming men who catcall, leer, or otherwise behave inappropriately.”
Let me re-iterate that last point: Skip the catcalls. The woman running in front of you really, really, does not care what you think about how her tights fits. She doesn’t want to be told how sweet her posterior is. Seriously. If you wouldn’t say what you’re thinking to a man, don’t say it to a woman. That’s a rule that should be in effect whether she’s out running or just walking down the street.
“Basically, don’t be creepy,” said Em, who pointed out that many police departments in Northern Kentucky offer self-defense classes for women.
Paul Long, on the road (Photo by Kris Payler Staverman)
Paul Long writes weekly for the Tribune about running and runners. For his daily running stories, follow him at dailymile.com or on Twitter @Pogue57
