Even in these trying days of division and bitter partisanship most everyone can agree that God, who has been on the job controlling the heavens and the earth for a goodly number of years now, is a pretty busy guy, or gal if your theological sentiments lean in that direction.
Now the deity is considered pretty much infallible by most of his/her followers, who take issue only when the lord steps aside and permits the Wildcats to go on a four-game losing streak, paying no heed to the thousands praying for relief. But now there is evidence that God him/herself may be collapsing under the strain of his/her thankless job, providing often conflicting answers to those who maintain they regularly converse with the messiah as if they’re chatting over a latte at the local Starbucks.
Take Scott Pruitt, the Lexington native who leads the federal Environmental Protection Agency and is busily, and quite happily from all indications, destroying the same environment he’s sworn to protect – hence the name Environmental Protection Agency.
Scott Pruitt
Old Scott, who as the chief guardian of the nation’s air and waters makes a great college second baseman, maintains he is working breathlessly to undermine every initiative ever taken to keep the nest clean only after getting the go-ahead from God himself.
You may have thought, given that cleanliness is next to godliness, that the deity most likely would have whispered in Scott’s ear that turning his earth into one big garbage dump really wasn’t what he/she had in mind. But The Pru insists the instructions he received maintain otherwise.
Appearing on the Christian Broadcasting Network recently, Pruitt said his reading of the Bible led him to believe the nation can wantonly drill for gas and dig for coal world without end because those natural resources exist purely for man to exploit.
“The biblical world view with respect to these issues is that we have a responsibility to manage and cultivate, harvest the natural resources that we’ve been blessed with to truly bless our fellow mankind,” Pruitt said.
As if to prove his point, Pruitt quickly thereafter proposed closing the National Center for Environmental Research, an agency charged with reducing the health risks posed to children from chemical exposure.
Another new interpretation of the scriptures!
“I spent a couple years just earnestly praying, asking the question that I don’t think we ask enough: ‘God, what do you want to do with me?’” he told CBN.
And God, after apparently telling Scotty to pay no mind to those whiny, chemically devastated children, responded, “Goest thou and destroy the planet in my name.’’
If that sounds odd, Pope Francis, who is said to know something about God and his/her desires for humanity, is equally flummoxed. The Pope noted in one of his writings that some Christians, including Pruitt, apparently, wrongly believe the Bible “invites us to subjugate the earth, the savage exploitation of nature would be encouraged, presenting the image of human beings as ruler and destroyer. This is not the correct interpretation of the Bible as intended by the Church.”
Then there is Wayne LaPierre who, as executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, imagines the need to put a rifle in every pot and a pistol in every garage.
Wayne LaPierre
Considering the turn-the-other-cheek nature of the gospels, not to mention the notions of peace and love preached by Jesus, you might have concluded the messiah doesn’t have a real strong attraction to machinery of annihilation, the sort of product that mows down 17 students and teachers at a Florida high school and 58 folks attending a country music concert in Las Vegas.
You, of course, would be dead wrong, according to Wayne LaPierre..
Citing the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, LaPierre told those attending the Conservative Political Action Committee conference in a Washington DC suburb last week that the right to keep and bear arms “is not bestowed by man, but granted by God to all Americans as our American birthright.”
So you may have missed that 11th Commandment – Thou shalt carry an AK-15 with thee at all times, to be used indiscriminately to destroy that which God hath made. Thank you, Wayne LaPierre, for uncovering this long-forgotten directive.
But if this is indeed so why didn’t the all-powerful God simply see to it that each and every child emerging from the birth canal comes equipped with a Smith & Wesson or a Ruger or some such firearm? It seems rather unfair of the deity to deny any emerging human being with the ability to pack heat before they snip the umbilical cord, using the piece to gun down any doctor or nurse who gets in the way.
It is, after all, a birthright bestowed by God, according to the head of the NRA.
And then, of course, we come to one of our favorites, Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis, who has written a book, Under God’s Authority, detailing the exploits that led her to become the cover girl for Bigots Illustrated and other such publications from sea to shining sea.
(One is reminded of Pete Rose, the former Cincinnati Red star/gambling aficionado who said the only book he ever read was the one he wrote. He thought it was pretty good).
So exactly what did Ms. Davis do under God’s authority? Harken back to late 2015, not too long after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of same sex marriage, when Kim Davis, despite her sworn duties to carry out the dictates of her office, refused to issue a marriage license to a gay couple.
Hijinks ensued.
Davis said her own interpretation of God’s holy word prohibited her from complying with the law, skipping right over Romans 13:1 “Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities.’’
Davis eventually was found in contempt of a federal court order and shipped to the hoosegow for a short period of time before a deal was struck to let one of her subordinates handle the marriage license job. Her brief, though way too long, moment in the sun attracted support from grifters like Mike Huckabee and Sen. Ted Cruz, R-TX. Now she’s trying to use her relationship with the deity to rationalize her refusal to do her job or treat gay folks as human beings.
According to a website touting this obviously important missive, “This true story goes behind the scenes to reveal how God gave this unlikely candidate a platform to defend marriage and religious freedom.”
Not to mention sow hatred toward the LBGTQ community and how she handled “fist-pounding homosexuals.’’
On top of all this, there is a new manuscript, The Faith of Donald J. Trump, which revives an old joke about the shortest book in the world. And we somehow managed to get this far without mentioning St. Matt the Divine.
We learn from our earliest days, some of us, that God works in mysterious ways. The only mystery here is whether any of these jokers ever cracked open the Bible. Ain’t it funny how their skewed interpretation of the Bible just happens to coincide with their own deep thoughts.
Talking to God or talking to themselves?
The NKyTribune’s Washington columnist Bill Straub served 11 years as the Frankfort Bureau chief for The Kentucky Post. He also is the former White House/political correspondent for Scripps Howard News Service. A member of the Kentucky Journalism Hall of Fame, he currently resides in Silver Spring, Maryland, and writes frequently about the federal government and politics. Email him at williamgstraub@gmail.com.
