It’s been said Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
Luckily for me I was blessed with a great mother-in-law who I miss greatly. She was one of the most caring and loving people that I have ever met, and she treated with me respect and admiration, even when I may not have deserved it.
The only thing that ever tested our relationship had to do with her inability to drive safely in the last few years of her life. She never could drive very well, but as she aged, those limited skills diminished greatly. She was involved in multiple moving violations, fender benders and even once somehow was T-Boned by a concrete post at a gas station while attempting to fuel her car.
It got to a point where my wife and I had to make a conscious decision to not allow her to drive our children. It was a very tough decision because she was a very involved grandparent who loved to come by and take the kids out.
But because of the sensitivity of the issue we avoided the conversation all together. So instead we would make up excuses to avoid allowing the kids to ride with her.
It was a very uncomfortable situation that eventually came to a boil — where like any good husband, I eventually had to fall on the sword.
The fact is senior drivers have more fatalities per mile driven than any age group except teenagers. Statistics still show that younger drivers crash more, but the crashes involving older drivers are more likely to be fatal as a result of age related health complications.
Per mile traveled, fatal crash rates increase noticeably starting at ages 70‒74 and are highest among drivers age 85 and older according to the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC). A 2014 senior driving study by Caring.com estimated that approximately 14 million Americans were involved in a crash caused by an older driver.
This is only going to get worse in the next few years as baby boomers continue to age. It’s estimated that by 2020 40 million drivers will be 65 years old or older.
It’s been said that elderly drivers speed because they have to before they forget where they are going. While others senior drivers travel at a snail likes pace, causing mayhem and road-rage all around them.
How long a driver should be allowed to remain on the road has long been a topic of discussion ever since Henry Ford invented the automobile, especially since there have been numerous studies highlight that the risks for drivers increase with their age.
Giving up the keys is a difficult position to be in as a senior driver, and even that much more difficult for the family member to approach the subject. Telling an elderly driver that it may be time to stop driving can be one of the most difficult situations for a family member or caregivers.
To understand this all you have to do is recall the day you received your driver’s license and the independence that it gave you as a 16-year-old. Driving represents freedom and liberty even more so for the elderly — the ability to visit friends, eat out, go to the movies and shop without having to rely on anyone else is huge.
Revoking an elderly person’s driver’s license over a certain age is not an acceptable solution, as I have seen plenty of 80-year-olds drive better than much younger drivers.
Senior drivers are more likely to use seat belts, less likely to drink and drive, usually most will drive fewer miles at slower speeds, and they do more daytime driving than at night. So it would be unfair to punish most elderly drivers for problems caused by only a few.
But the fact remains that once somebody reaches their 70’s their hearing and vision tend to deteriorate and reaction time begins to slow down.
Broaching this subject with a senior driver can trigger defensiveness, irritation and even anger.
Obviously I can’t speak from experience because I failed miserably, but I have since learned that experts say that the best way to approach this subject is to include the elderly person in the decision-making process if at all possible, rather than dictate a decision to them. It can also be helpful for you and your elderly loved one to discuss the matter together with family members, doctors, and other people they respect, such as clergy, neighbors and friends. But, despite your best efforts and conversation, you may still have to make the decision for them, for their own safety and the safety of other drivers and pedestrians.
There are usually some telltale signs that will help you determine that it’s time to consider removing the keys from your elderly loved one:
They begin asking passengers to help them decide when it’s clear to turn or pass another driver.
They fail to yield right of way to others and ignore or disobey street signs and traffic lights.
They have multiple near miss accidents or have unexplained fender benders or accidents.
They begin drift across lanes, bump into curbs, failing to judge distances or they begin to follow to close to the vehicle in front of them.
They begin to ignore obvious mechanical problems with their vehicles
They begin having difficulty with glare from oncoming headlights, streetlights, or other bright or shiny objects, especially at dawn, dusk and at night?
They start getting lost in areas that should be familiar to them.
They respond slowly or not at all to other vehicles or pedestrians.
They drive at inappropriate speeds, either too fast or too slow.
They don’t make an effort to find objects or other vehicles in their blind spots.
Before removing the keys from a senior driver there could be other alternatives to explore first.
You may want to ask their doctor or pharmacist to review medicines that are being taken, including over the counter medicines. Maybe your elderly driver just needs their eyes checked or their prescription glasses adjusted.
Maybe all you have to do is ask your elderly love one to just limit their driving to daylight hours and good weather only. Or you could propose other transportation alternatives to driving such as riding with a friend or neighbor, public transit or even calling an Uber for a ride.
Luckily for my generation it appears that my children will not have to deal with this issue. Self-driving vehicles will be arriving in mass production just in time. Which is even better for the millennials who tend to text and drive, as I couldn’t imagine how dangerous this world would become when they all become senior drivers with a cellphone glued to their hands.
Be Safe My Friend
Keven Moore works in risk management services. He has a bachelor’s degree from University of Kentucky, a master’s from Eastern Kentucky University and 25-plus years of experience in the safety and insurance profession. He lives in Lexington with his family and works out of both the Lexington and Northern Kentucky offices. Keven can be reached at kmoore@roeding.com.
